September 12th 2014 I gave birth to a beautiful baby girl. I didn’t know that a few day’s later it would send my new world into turmoil…

 September 13th I started to feel pain on my right side. It felt like someone was poking me really hard in the middle (right Side) of my back. I mentioned to my nurse that I was feeling pain there that I didn’t think was normal. She assured me that pushing for 4.5 hours was the cause as it takes a toll on your body. OK, yea sure I get that. I was enjoying time with my family. My new bundle of joy. I had never been happier in my life. Man of my dreams, healthy, happy baby girl. I was on an all time high. Nothing could bring me down… So I thought.

  September 13… unlucky 13 I guess. I woke up in pain, but i looked over to see the love of my life sleeping with our little girl all wrapped up together. They looked so sweet. I found myself smiling. Looking at them so peaceful. Such a strong love. A new love. This was my family. This was my life. My happy ever after.

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 September 14th. I went through the day learning how to properly breastfeed Brookelynn. How to apply the Vaseline and how much. Getting the hang of a routine with a baby. Totally exhausted. We had a busy day. Lots and lots of visitors. When night rolled around I was in more pain then usual. I mentioned to the nurse I was still hurting. I requested a hot water bottle. That’s just what they brought me. A square hard water bottle that had hot water in it. I was in pain how was I supposed to lay with this behind my back. (I felt like they were stupid.) A little while later I tried to get some sleep. But I couldn’t. Charles was finally sleeping in the chair beside me. I tried to pull myself up to look into the clear bassinet beside me. I couldn’t move. It hurt. I was panicking. I cried out to Charles who awoke panicked. We pushed the help button for the nurses. I felt like I couldn’t breathe. I was dizzy, I felt nauseous. The doctor came in and started to lightly hit down my back. She got to the mid section on the right and I almost jerked off the bed. It.hurt.so.much. She got a worried look in her eyes. And told me first thing in the morning I was going for an ultra sound and a scan. (Things from here kind of all mesh together. So  I am sorry in advance)

 I of course had to go alone for the scans. After all was said and done. They concluded that somehow there was a blockage in my right ureter tube (Image below) img_0669

My right kidney hadn’t been draining for two days. TWO DAYS. Thats where all the pain was coming from. My doctor came in and explained they needed to attempt to put a stent in to open the tube again, me being me i asked what would happen if that didn’t work and he told me if it didn’t work i would need a nephrostomy tube. (they would put a hole in my back, insert a tube that would then drain the urine from my kidney into a catheter on my leg.) I was 19. I was scared but hopeful.They scheduled me an emergency surgery to attempt a stent. I was scared as hell. But i had faith this would work. It would all be ok. It would all be ok, breathe…They put me to sleep for the procedure. I was still groggy when I woke up, my doctor had told me the stent wasn’t successful. It hadn’t worked. It felt like a dream a very very bad dream. I was still really out of it I assume I passed out again as i woke up in my room. The doctor came back in and I asked him if he had told me it hadn’t worked. He confirmed. It did not work. They couldn’t even get the camera in to see past the obstruction. I needed to be transferred to Abbotsford. Alone. For my surgery. I felt a lump the size of the world rise in my throat, I held back tears and agreed. I need to be strong for Brooke, Charles and my family.

 So the time of the surgery came. Time to leave my baby and go in for a surgery we didn’t know was going to work. Charles had to go back to work or he would lose his job, my mom needed to be with my daughter along with a life long friend Shelby. So It was time for me to do this. Alone. I was strong i knew i could handle this. I mean I had to. I had some one relying on me now. It wasn’t just me anymore. They loaded me on the stretcher and I couldn’t hold it in anymore. I lost it. I cried, and I cried. I didn’t want to be alone. I didn’t want to leave my girl. she needed me. We left the room and came to the elevators, Where the ‘surgeon’ who had given me this c-section stopped. He looked shocked, he said “I am so sorry” and I couldn’t even look at him. My whole world was crashing down. I was more scared than I had ever been in my whole life. So I did what any normal girl would do and I texted my daddy. He told me i was strong. and that i could do it. I needed that, but i didn’t believe it not then.

 They called my name. It was my turn. I was wheeled in. And there was a surgeon, 5 nurses a lot of tools, cords and tubes everywhere. They had asked for me to pull myself from the stretcher to the operating table. (reminding you i had just had a c-section and i couldn’t lay on my back due to this surgery) I was very slow. was doing my best. I was shaking and barely holding myself all together. The doctor was rushing me and I informed him it hurt to lay on my belly as i had just had a baby delivered by c-section. His reply was when did you deliver. HE DIDNT KNOW! 2 days ago. just 2 days ago. Finally i was belly down on the table. They started hooking me up to oxygen and wires. When the surgeon then realized i needed to be the other way as my left side was facing him, not my right. So now I had to attempt to get up with iv’s, tubes and wires connected to me. I lay on the pillow softly crying. the nurse asked me why i was crying, was i hurt or was i scared. How do i answer that? i am terrified and I am hurt. They put me under for the surgery. I woke up in recovery. I now had a tube in my back and a catheter. I was broken. How much more did i have in me? Just when I was feeling like slipping into sleep as the world was just too much, my dad walked in. Man did i ever need to see him. I felt like i could breathe again.He was trying to take my mind off it, and i loved that, but there was only so far my mind could wonder.

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 The rest of the time at the hospital was OK. I couldn’t be left alone with Brooke encase i got a pain and dropped her. Not to mention I was very very weak. I could barely eat. I had trouble lifting my six pound baby up. I couldn’t even lift my arm above my head. But, I was only going to have this thing for 2 months. Then another surgery to get it removed (A stent would be put in to hold the tube open). I could do that. two months. I would be fine.

 Time to leave the hospital and take my baby home after a week from hell. We could finally take her home. be home. I could lay in my own bed. Sleep in my own bed. The nurses prepped me to go home. They gave me paper work to read about this new addition to my body. The papers were from google. The nurses didn’t know how to take care of me. In their careers they hadn’t seen this from a c-section. So they didn’t know what to tell me. No one did. All any one could say was i am sorry this happened to you. I was broken that this happened, but that didn’t change even an ounce of love i had for my daughter. She lights up my whole world. Takes the pain away with just a little smile. In all the havoc, she was my saving grace.

xoxo

-Alana

 Want to know how I did at home? There is more in “Home After Trauma”. Spoiler? They pushed my surgery. to months later.

p.s

I am trying to raise the 10’000 needed. Feel free to donate here if you can. Any and ALL help is appreciated

https://www.gofundme.com/hdbjw8

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